Pied Piper

UPTDATE: Well since John was the only one who voted. He wins! The first rat picture 1, picture 2. The second rat picture. I decided not to post the gross picture of the pool of blood under the second rat. Also the tiles on the ground are 4 or 5 inches just to give you an idea of the size of the rats.

So, I bought a rat trap two days ago and subsequently there have been two rats caught. I took pictures before disposing of the bodies. The question is do you want to see them? Also another question what does “pied” mean? I’m too lazy to google it and I’m just going to assume it means someone who has recently eaten pie. Man, I wish I was pied right now.

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White & Nerdy

Today has been a productive day. I’ve sent some mail, ran, purchased and set up a rat trap, applied for a new social security card, bought toiletries and a new hamper. But I also spent a goodish chunk of today and yesterday attempting to get an old school video game from 1996 (which only ran on windows 95) to run on windows XP. This proved to be more challenging than I anticipated, but after using various image mounts, unzipping programs, messing with system files, scouring forums, I was finally able to Run Command and Conquer: Red Alert. Red Alert is a game I used to play when I was younger. Its a strategy game that gives you control of men units and a base and gives you various objectives. The odd thing was I was more satisfied by accomplishing the task of being able to get the game working than I was actually being able to play the game. The game is now freeware and can be downloaded for free here link. If you have trouble getting it working, let me know and I’ll send you to the places that helped me get it working. Oh and here are my old and new hamper, notice the long metal hook sticking out of the old hamper.

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Between Thought and Expression

The gospel of John as well as the book of Genesis begin by describing how words bring worlds into being. These accounts describe the whole of creation being spoken into existence. It’s a strange idea that words possess the mysterious power to create new realities out of nothing. It’s an even stranger thought to realize that anyone who can wield a word possesses this mysterious power. Whenever someone says “I love you” or cries “don’t go” or whispers a lie, they are actively creating a reality. Now it may not be a true to reality and it may not be believed even if it is true, but in it exists in itself as reality or a creation. Now that reality may be rejected as a cheap fraud, it may be blindly accepted, it may be misunderstood, but once it has been expressed the word has created its own miniature world. These worlds frequently interact with us and can alter our life decisions, our loves, history, and even our perception.

If words have the power to create world, they should be wielded wisely. This is a difficult thing to accomplish. This is the tension between thought and expression, between understanding and explaining. There is great difficulty in expressing our deepest, our truest feelings and thoughts. When we encounter those things we struggle to express them lucidly, eloquently, or entirely. That is why the expression “words fail me” came into existence, which is really just putting into words the fact that you are not using words well. Sending these thoughts and emotions out into the world, is an art and like all art requires discipline and practice. The more important the subject the more important the description. Words should be weighed, evaluated, mulled over until the precise term is found. The difference between a good word and the perfect word can be the difference between a butter knife and a battle axe. Sentences and sounds should be selected to sway the listeners ear as well as their mind. The medium should also fit the message. Be terse, if it helps. However, if you find that your point is better illustrated by long flowing argumentation or illustration feel free to throw brevity to the wind. Be clear. Clarity is essential. If thoughts or words seem muddled or hazy, they will likely be incomprehensible to your audience. Illustrate, repeat, rephrase, remind, reword, simplify, explain, do whatever it takes to make yourself clear. Even if you want to be vague, be clearly vague. But most of all be careful. The words you wield will create world that extend far beyond you, they will change and shape your friends, your enemies, and anyone else who hears them. Wield your words wisely.

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Puritan Prayers

This morning I was reading from the Valley of Vision, a collection of Puritan prayers and meditations. The title of the prayer I read was “Confession and Petition.” As I read it I realized my thoughts are nothing like these men’s thoughts. Not only are my thoughts not similar to theirs, I don’t even think in the same categories as they do. When they come to confession they view it as a process of drawing closer to Christ, humbling themselves before him and separating themselves from sin. When I come to confess before my God its for personal appeasement of guilt and to give lip service to a weak desire to be rid of sins which may be embarrassing or shameful for me to continue to practice.  After listing his failures the puritan states “But I bless thee that they will not stand against me for all have been laid on Christ.” His confession is christocentric, while mine usually are selfish. He proceeds to thank God for unanswered prayer, “I thank thee that many of my prayers have been refused – I have asked amiss and do not have, I have prayed from lusts and been rejected, I have longed for Egypt and been given a wilderness.” I don’t think it has ever crossed my mind to thank God for what He hasn’t given me, I simply do not work with that type of mindset. He continues “No trial is so hard to bear as a sense of sin. If thou shouldst give me choice to live in pleasure and keep my sins, or to have them burnt away with trial, give me sanctified affliction. Deliver me from every evil habit, every accretion of former sins, everything that dims the brightness of thy grace in me, everything that prevents me taking delight in thee. Then I shall bless thee for helping me to be upright.” I love that plea, “Give me sanctified affliction!” How I wish I had the desire for holiness above and beyond any pleasure. I wish I hungered for it, so that I would gladly partake of suffering instead of leisure if I knew the outcome would move me farther from my sins and closer to my savior. Unfortunately, I desire holiness but harbor certain sins. Overall yes, I vaguely acknowledge that I would like to be godly and am willing to put forth moderate effort towards that end, yet I still keep pet pleasures close to my heart and partake in secret sins. Its time to stop living in pleasure keeping my sins. Its time to pursue refinement. It is time to embrace sanctified affliction, to pursue those things which draw me closer to Christ who saves me from my sin.

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Charm School

I went to charm school and this is what the Bishop said to me, “Things are what you make of em. Things are what you make of em, baby. And you know what I mean. Yea you know what I mean.”

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Feeling the Lyrics

Your favorite music, well it just makes you sad. But you like it, because it makes you feel special. You feel special, that you’re no one else, but then you’re lonely. And it comes apart the way it does in bad films. Except the part where the moral kicks in. And if I’m sued into submission I can still come home to this. When you drunk and the kids look impossibly tan you think over and over again ‘I’m finally dead.’ It just didn’t sparkle it just didn’t grow. Some things are better left unexplored. Let’s call the whole thing off. I wish that we could talk about it, but there, that’s the problem. With someone new I could have started, too late for beginnings. The little things that made me harassed are gone in a moment. I miss the way we used to argue, locked, in your basement. To tell the truth I was it coming, the way, you were breathing. But nothing can prepare you for it, the voice, on the other, end. And it keeps coming, and it keeps coming, and it keeps coming, till the day it stops. And one little leak becomes a lake, says the tiny voice in my earpiece. So I give in to the rhythm  the click click clap. I’m too wasted to far back. I can see you but I can never reach you. And it rained all night and then all day. The drops are the size of your size of hands and face. the worms come out to see what’s up. Its relentless invisible, indefatigable, indisputable, undeniable. And your short on long term goals. And theres a party over there we should go to. And its only a quarter of three, reflecting off your CD. There’s a fortune inside your head. All you touch turns to lead. You think you might just crawl back in bed. Who am I to make a judgement of your life. I’m only passing by, passing by. A friendly ghost is all I need. I’m taking a ride, off to one side. It is a personal thing, where, when I can’t stand, up in this cage I’m not regretting. I don’t need a better thing. I’ll settle for less. It’s another thing for me. I just have to wander through this world, alone. Stop, before you fall. Into the hole that I have dug here. Rest, even as you, are starting to feel the way I used to.

Guess all the artists mentioned in this post and get a high five. Guess all the songs and get a fist bump. No cheating (cheating would be looking up lyrics online, but not listening to songs you might think have the words). Go ahead give it your best shot.

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Far and Few

“Far and few, far and few are the lands where the Jumblies live.” This is the first line in Edward Lear’s Poem “The Jumblies.” The reason why it comes to mind is simple. I’ve had three good days in a row. Now they aren’t good by a lot of standards. I don’t know the location of my social security card, I won’t get paid for work I’ve been doing without it. I have more responsibilities than I have time. I’ve had several projects dropped on me, which were particularly frustrating. But on the other hand this past few days have refreshed me. I’ve had encouraging talks with old friends. I feel like my interests and direction have purpose. I also received praise for things I have been working hard for. This may sound like simple or trite things, but after a long season of what seemed to be fruitless academic labor borne in isolation, a few moments of camaraderie or a simple validation of your efforts can be as refreshing as a warm shower on after freezing outside replacing a car battery for several hours (oh yea I did that too). Anyways I just thought I would take this time to say that I am grateful that I have friends who inspire me, challenge me, and provide valuable insight for my life. The other thing I am thankful for is mercy, grace, and patience, because without those characteristics I don’t think any of my friends would’ve put up with me for so long. To all my friends out there, thanks for sticking around, even when I’m ugly. I thank God for you often.

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The Problem With Lost

The problem with Lost is that it has seemed to mistake confusion for plot. It is hard to root for or against a character if no one (in the audience or characters) understands what is going on around them. I don’t say this as someone who hates the show or thinks the whole concept is stupid. I’ve been an off and on fan throughout the show. The main draw of the show is the vivid characters it creates. There is the scheming bad-boy con man who has loving emotions buried under anger and several thousand defense mechanisms. There is the fugitive who has found a second chance to settle down, only to discover the only thing she understands in life is to run away. There is the philanthropic surgeon who assumes a leadership role and ‘shepherds’ the people around him. There is the rugged hunter who enjoys primitive living, seeks deeper meaning, and was miraculously healed after the plane crash. The foreign couple struggling between assimilating or isolating themselves from their fellow survivors. Lost for all its shortcomings develops strong and interesting characters. When the show couples this with recognizable or identifiable conflict, such as seeking rescue vs. assimilating to island life, or rescuing kidnapped friends from a different set of people on the island, the show works. The problem is that the show has decided that a clear struggle between two identifiable sides or even two identifiable ideologies is far less important than creating bizarre story lines or making sure no one has any clue what is going on around them. I have a feeling that when the show ends there will be no sense of satisfaction, since there really is no clear conflict which will be resolved. Even if the show magically ties up all its loose ends, I’ll still feel disappointed that such good characters were wasted by not putting them into situations were they could make real or relevant decisions. Instead they float around in a world (or island) where people make vague decisions or alliances without any knowledge of what’s going on or what is at stake. Now don’t get me wrong a little bit of mystery or confusion can be a good thing. Originally that’s how show worked, strangers working together or against each other on an island where strange things occasionally happened. Now the show is about strange things that happen on an island and the people who are around to see them.

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Hey Check This Out

Alright, I want you to do me a favor. Take a look at this. Go ahead click on it. See that? You know what? I can read that. Now I don’t usually brag or gloat, but when I can read a handwritten greek minuscule manuscript, I think I deserve to brag. Anyways you probably ain’t that excited about it, but I certainly enjoyed it. Especially since it is the fruit of several years of learning Greek, and a short amount of time collating manuscripts. This is another pretty interesting one to look at here. Yea amazing isn’t it.

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Just a Thought

There’s probably nothing more depressing than the thought that totality of human existence is less than the sum of its parts.

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