Dear England or London more particularly,
Thank you for your delicious tea. Our tea is quite inferior, and I’ll admit it I have tea envy. However I must address something I believe is quite a serious problem. It makes me very uncomfortable to even bring up. I thought that you were supposed to be a civilized and refined society, these notions must be very antiquated for what I found in that capital city was the epitome of barbarism and avarice. The United States is often referred to the Land of the Free, but I had no idea this was in reference to the use of public toilets. London it is a cruel thing to charge men and women to do what nature requires them to do, yet your social structures and laws prevents them to publicly. To force a tax on men and women simply to relieve themselves is rather a mean and inhospitable act of extortion, for when nature calls and will not be denied, what recourse does an individual have but to pay the bathroom attendant (or machine)?
Which brings me to my second point of contention with the city of London. You’re expensive. In fact you’re unreasonably expensive. Unfortunately for some reason we were unreasonably stupid and paid your exorbitant fees for everything. Other than Cornish Pastries, I think everything was just made more expensive for the sake of making it more expensive. I should have expected this from a city that would charge someone for merely having to use the restroom, but poor American sap that I am it blindsided me.
As if to compensate for everything else being so expensive I appreciate the gesture (I always have to check the spelling of that word thanks to the game guesstures) of offering many of your museums free of charge. I especially appreciate that within these museums individuals are allowed to use the restroom or WC as you call it, without having to pay for the privilege of relieving oneself.
Also on an unrelated note that you for some of your television series. We thoroughly enjoy the soap Dowton Abbey and have just begun the wonderful Jeeves & Wooster series with Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie.
Sincerely,
An American Tourist
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